Commissioner finds interesting bits in briefs

28 06 2009

news

briefsSUPPORTERS of the illegal regime are breaking into their own marijuana fields and getting high.

The strange occurrence, revealed exclusively to Fiji Funcensored 4.5 this morning by Police Commissioner Esala Teleni, has taken a perplexing twist, particularly when Mr Teleni does not give interviews on Sundays.

But it has solved what some observers say has spurred an edge-of-the-tanoa legend about mysterious crop circles.

In true X-Files style, Mr Teleni said drugged-out regime apologists had been found hopping around in circles squashing their marijuana plants, creating the formations – and hence solving the mystery.

This is the first time police officers under Mr Teleni’s command have solved anything.

The coup apologists, already under the influence of Voreqe Bainimarama and his magic mushrooms, have been increasingly entering the fields to nibble on the best buds. That potent mix causes them to get even higher and run round and round in concentric circles creating “crop circles”.

“The one interesting bit I found recently in one of my briefs was that we have this issue with our supporters entering their own fields, getting high as a kite and going around in circles,” Mr Teleni said.

“If it involved opponents of the regime, we would have beaten them up and perhaps even sent a few of them home in bodybags,” he said.

“But that’s just the way we operate with our Commander Bainimarama-inspired double standards.”

Fiji Funcensored 4.5 did not bring to Mr Teleni’s attention the possibility that by going around in circles, the apologists were just emulating the regime.

Neither did we dare ask Mr Teleni what other interesting bits he found in his briefs, or whether he was able to find them at all.

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3 responses

28 06 2009
ex Fiji tourist

tellytubbies ‘briefs’ could also be used as a circus tent.

28 06 2009
soro

Circue de woilei

29 06 2009
Robin Hood

Teletubby’s briefs actually double as a ‘parachute’. He bought bought in North Korea last year!

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